2008-06-17 at 4:09 p.m.
a while ago i was paining over not being able to find albums by the shortwave set online. today i find out their debut "the debt collection" is entirely avaliable on their site for download. so now i know why. tsk. but i'm still missing "repeat to fade". the one on the site's truncated to 30 odd seconds only...i also, stupidly, just realised that sites such as hype link you to music blog posts, which then link you to free downloadable mp3s. and for the past month or sth i've been ignoring all the hype google search results, thinking they only lead to amazon or itunes...
anyway i backed up my harddrive again yay! (or sth like it) i'm just not looking foreward to doing it again, sometime in the future. cause i only know how to recopy everything which wastes a lot of time...
it really drives me nuts; implodes my cranium. i feel so extra myopic when i look for music online. but i'm still in wonder at how convenient it is to educate yourself using music blogs and online communities and what not. it's like being connected and being withdrawn at the same time.
maybe it's just me, but my left side molars are stumpier than my right cause i always chew on them. i'm trying to chew on my right now, to balance things out.
i think now that the holidays are granting me more sleep, i must be noticing my dreams more cause they come in at least 3 waves every night. ian thinks i'm stupid to do so, but i feel like it's important to at least remember a few vague mental images of what i dreamt about. they tend to be rather heavily architectured. i don't want to let what my mind subconsciously manifests just slip away into thin air. it's like denying an integral part of who i am - cause who's to say which side is the real reality anyway. heh. my conscious self thinks dreams are frightening cause they are unknown. there is a lack of control, of cause and effect. but they are yet precious. you're more in touch with yourself than when awake.
yesterday there was some magnesium alluminium mutant man who could alter the environments however he wanted to just by physically being on top of it. like he'd scale a wall then turn it into a mobile of hanging sculptures. and it turned into this race to escape the creative dangers of him and a bunch of kid recruits in this esplanade like setting. the earlier part of my dream consisted of me wanting to quit school to study in canada or sth. and i packed my bags! but decided i couldn't do it cause i'd be wasting these three effed up years in jc.
previous three nights all had one segment dedicated to rapture practice. lol. like ballet auditions in a school hall stage that opened into the inner patio on the mid levels of a building (that looked like the old TNS one). blocking for hotride on this really grand steeply sloping open air stage. design reminiscent of the henderson waves (i must really like it). um in that particular dream it was tied up with me really wanting to go to the toilet in this chamber that looked both like a pow camp and an ice cave. but i just couldn't force myself to pee cause i was told the center cubicle was haunted, and i was too afraid to go after that.
i think the night before that there was some hotel resort like building i was exploring. and there was this particular feature it had. this large fish tank, suspended waaaaaay above ground XX levels up. well i guess there wasn't much you could do with it. but it was sth rather intriguing. cause at one level it was a display. but climbing to an upper level you could enter the tank. and that in itself is just a little frightening but exciting. (great vocab) cause you enter this space to enjoy, but you're so trapped. trapped and hanging in the middle of the sky.
i think that night ended with me trying to sink into this beanbag lump of dough attatched to a kids' play table. the plastic sort with a rim of christmas card like decorative motifs of happy men and dogs in argyle and mistletoe. i was in this small retail shop like house along the side of a suburban road. the setting was swede or sth (: outside was dusk and a depressing indigo-blue. but the glass fronted building i was in had that resulting contrast of warm ikea yellow. i think in someways i was married with a kid and some middle aged man. but yeah they weren't important. we were trying to cross over into a different zone or reality by letting outselves sink in with our eyes open. the image is like having a screen projection as your vision. the up close, in your face details of a surface looked more like an enclosing environment. and you see both this through your eyes, and also you IN the environment like a video game. it's like those optical illusion puzzles where you need to relax your eyes to see the image emerge out of the patterns. digging deep enough with your eyes you reach the "base" of the table, which is really a metaphysical portal. a parcel like barrier you have to break through by digging at the brown paper and cardboard. i know i'd broken through before so i knew it could be done. but having the kid and the man there with me just made it impossible to focus. listening to their movements snaps you back to the concreteness of real existance. like waking up from a day dream. to reach the other side, it takes something of pure concentration, or rather a complete surrender of your mind to the new principles of the alternative universe. so if you can't recede into your mind, and instead keep thinking about where you are physically in at the moment (the real and current world), you won't be able to get there. (so narnia.) i tried to cover us with a felt blanket to tighten the atmosphere. make things feel more intimate and closed in. - didn't work. i woke up.
one more night back, i dreamt i bought one of those cute looking solar powered round headed men which bob from side to side. but yeah turned out i was tricked by that little deamon thing into repossessing it. it's one of those "haunted" objects that never leave your possession no matter what you do - burn it smash it blah blah. typical. and apparantly sometime before i got rid of it "successfully". so yea that dream was a little distressing.
led into this other bit where i was with a team on some mission. and i needed to enter this electronic turnpike gate. with the tomorrowland neon lights and all. i tried to squeeze through but alerted the system (har har.) and had to squeeze my way out again before the fire barriers came on and i'd get charred. but my partner has some readable card thing so she managed to get through. and um... then i became her (yeah dream narratives yay. multiple perspectives) and i was allowed to select my choice of robotic transformer outfit before entering the area. i think i settled for some more voluptuous looking version of the iron man suit (or rather it was just round. like rolie polie olie). i had to battle some opposing duo, which had better equipment, in some reading room after hours in a library. somehow i was reduced to the size of an action figure (but i could fly!) so my ammo only worked like ant bites. out of desperation i tried to fire up my "special weapon". which was purple crunchie bars or sth. and yeah cause of that i lost all my energy and crashed to the ground. damn anti-climax. my parnter was down already, soooo we got dragged into the assessment room next door, like one of those police interrogation rooms behind double glazed mirrors. and there, before a panal of judges, i started talking about how i wanted to take up adult ballet classes after As cause ballet seems like the important foundation for all other forms of dance. and this lady strongly rejected this notion by saying you don't need to know ballet to excel in all the other forms of dance which are equally important, and independent disciplines.
i can't belive i never wrote about that particular dream i had about having to die. i can't afford to spend time on it now. neither do i feel like writing cause it's just not about words. i have a feeling i won't forget this one though. i haven't forgotten the essence of a lot of my dreams. there comes a point i realise i can breathe underwater. but my breaths are slow and careful, as though i'd choke if i wasn't conscientious.
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daniel xin
jotan-gent
buttcheeks dilly jules steph mandy yuelin weishan
jason jas-imah!
hot-hor anoifest bi-polar our panic! girl
DARTH VADER mindu the affair with the dim sum
ne-aij
grace emo feminist
jia hui
rakk
wow rakk again! and again
domo
danielle
k!loe
and his photos
mandy yuelin weishan
jason jas-imah!
hot-hor anoifest bi-polar our panic! girl
DARTH VADER mindu the affair with the dim sum
ne-aij
grace emo feminist
jia hui
rakk
wow rakk again! and again
domo
danielle
k!loe
and his photos
jason
DARTH VADER mindu the affair with the dim sum
ne-aij grace
rakk wow rakk again! and again domo
danielle k!loe and his photos