2008-07-31 at 2:41 a.m.
it's really late and i'm going to school tmr no matter what. but since i had to upload my photos i had to jot a little bit down.i suddenly thought about it. and i think i'm going to die without dance practices anymore. the past few weeks have been saturated with dance, and i can think and breathe nothing else. it's all i remember about my life as of recent. and to think that it's all over, i'm not going to get to return to the studio, plonk my bag in front of my pigeon hole, wear comfortable pants and foot thongs, stretch, attempt backwalks, crap around with everyone, move to music. i don't know what to do with all these things that have suddenly become memories. without dance, i'll need to go to the gym or run to keep fit in the evenings, and i don't know if i can do that. it feels horrible and unnatural.
i enjoyed myself so much. i even really enjoyed acting out broadway. (and i don't even remember telling myself to sing but apparantly i was damn obvious with my mouth open) very soon the audience became something to work for, and no longer something to fear. auto-mode. purpose. everyone was crying so much when zaki gave us the pre-concert talk. i'm so grateful to have had the privilege of working under him and miss wee, and yet again i can only regret that i didn't and won't get to do more, to be in syf, to stay in this forever and work at getting better and better.
i know i said i can finally eat all i want now that rapture's over, but i decided i can't allow myself to fall prey to gluttony, i still need to psyche myself into healthy living. i'll still need to train myself whenever i can so i don't regress. i can't think about it now, i just can't, but for the next one i shall try to put something together.
i have the most awesome juniors ever(:
i can't thank God enough for giving all this to me. especially, considering how it all started with taking up a small suggestion to go for dance tryouts. and it just grew and grew. even though i don't have any background (often i wish the world i did), and that always always always haunts me, this has become such a huge part of my life. and with much gratitude and humility i do think i've stepped up. i'm really a dancer now.
hk trip end of the year!!!
last & next
newest archiveshost jonk
daniel xin
jotan-gent
buttcheeks dilly jules steph mandy yuelin weishan
jason jas-imah!
hot-hor anoifest bi-polar our panic! girl
DARTH VADER mindu the affair with the dim sum
ne-aij
grace emo feminist
jia hui
rakk
wow rakk again! and again
domo
danielle
k!loe
and his photos
daniel xin
jotan-gent
buttcheeks dilly jules steph mandy yuelin weishan
jason jas-imah!
hot-hor anoifest bi-polar our panic! girl
DARTH VADER mindu the affair with the dim sum
ne-aij
grace emo feminist
jia hui
rakk
wow rakk again! and again
domo
danielle
k!loe
and his photos
mandy yuelin weishan
jason jas-imah!
hot-hor anoifest bi-polar our panic! girl
DARTH VADER mindu the affair with the dim sum
ne-aij
grace emo feminist
jia hui
rakk
wow rakk again! and again
domo
danielle
k!loe
and his photos
jason
DARTH VADER mindu the affair with the dim sum
ne-aij grace
rakk wow rakk again! and again domo
danielle k!loe and his photos
