2008-07-31 at 11:18 p.m.
today was really unusual. i woke up late and rushed down to school, only to find everyone in school in this horrible exhausted state. and it wasn't just the dancers. who all took green slips and left, and i realised it was totally deserved cause people i met were all dying. even miss k dismissed all her dancer students. by the end of the day i was so exhausted and i still am. my mind hurts a little and i'm just weary. it's kinda odd putting this in here, but i think i can understand a little better why heath ledger died. his insomnia and pain was due to this never ceasing mental activity, thinking about roles and so on. i know.i was expecting to at least be able to return to normal school life, even if my recent life has come to an end. but it was just weird. poor nut was forced to stay in school cause of a stupid non-understanding ct and a mis-understanding parent. serene my tiger was feeling really bad, and i was just seeing people LYING down all over school sleeping. somehow this culminated in me feeling really upset and i think it's a mix of everything. me being really tired too, seeing other people tired, and having withdrawal symptoms from dance.
oh but someone nice bought a posh brownie cake that said "rapture is over" and i got to eat a bit of it.
i was telling ian and stuff that i'm still thinking of steps. when i sit or stand and so called stone i'm either repeating steps in my head or running through the events of the past few days, thinking about and carrying through mental impressions of movements and music. (sounds like my coursework but no i can't seem to channel this) "let it be" has been on repeat playback in my head the whole day. i've been dreaming of zaki doing blocking and flusters of activity that are associated with the buzz and stress of being backstage.
debs gave me this really nice sms after rapture. i really appreciate her. (and ian too) but i only just remembered what it was like for her at the crux of and after her soccer season, and how there's this parallel with me having supported her as well(hopefully i did so enough). also how for many people they all go through sth similar. ian said imagine the end of the year for us. maybe it's a singaporean thing cause of our system. i don't know.
well after all this, it's not to say i have it the worst or whatever cause i definitely don't. i'm just a very small part, of this
a year ago contentions about the pride or attitudes of our dance society still lingered somewhere within my nascent relationship with it. but they've been debunked, at least as far as my batch goes, and as far as i still see super seniors supporting the team. i don't know the direct effects on the whole, but our two choreographers brought us up very well, and i believe in them teaching humility and dedication. (sorry if this sounds emo or contrived if people happen to be reading. i really don't want it to be.)
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buttcheeks dilly jules steph mandy yuelin weishan
jason jas-imah!
hot-hor anoifest bi-polar our panic! girl
DARTH VADER mindu the affair with the dim sum
ne-aij
grace emo feminist
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rakk
wow rakk again! and again
domo
danielle
k!loe
and his photos
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jason jas-imah!
hot-hor anoifest bi-polar our panic! girl
DARTH VADER mindu the affair with the dim sum
ne-aij
grace emo feminist
jia hui
rakk
wow rakk again! and again
domo
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k!loe
and his photos
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